Tuesday, 15 January 2019







Woman, Put On Your Crown

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 
 Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"


We are not our circumstances.  We are powerful creators who have come not to discover ourselves, but to create the fullest manifestation of our highest self.  “Life isn’t about finding yourself.  Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw.  Woman, put on your crown.  Put on your crown.  Put on your authority, novelty, worth, integrity, confidence, and respect.  Put on your dignity.  How?  Make a choice.  Make the decision to show-up in your highest authentic and excellent expression of who you are wearing crown-worthy values.  Woman, put on your crown.


Spend time with yourself marking indelibly your message on how you will show-up and delete the comparative and deprecating chatter you are creating in your mind.  Focus on your excellence is a noble way to start cultivating crown-worthy values.   “Maybe ‘cause you don’t have to win a pageant to wear a crown.” – Julie Murphy Dumplin.  Plan to outdo your past, not other people.  Weed out fraudulent thoughts and emotions and other people’s judgments to plant the seeds of originality and self-acceptance.   You are enough.  And your crowning beauty lies in your uniqueness and authenticity.  Make it a habit to acknowledge and embrace your difference.  Spend time polishing it.   Woman, put on your crown.


Your presence ought to make others proud.  Your crown is for others.  It carries a weight of glory and a model of distinction.  Your story will impact the unborn princesses who will learn to walk in their anointing glory for which they came.  Queen Elizabeth ‘s crown is not an ordinary crown.  It consists of 168 pearls, 28 diamonds, 19 sapphires, 2 emeralds and weighs 8 pounds. Yet, she is never caught without her crown.  “Even when she’s dethroned by hardship, she still wears the sun as a crown.” – Curtis Tyrone Jones.  And there are challenges she must face.  Your crown is the weather for the season.  You cannot have one for the other.  Woman, put on your crown.
  

And when the sea is full of tossing waves and the bitter winter sets in, the sun will always be shining up above those clouds.  Remember this, it would be then that you need your crown-worthy values the most.  Call upon them in times of trouble and they will carry you through, for you have practiced them long enough to know how to respond to life from a place of power and avoid the reactive disaster of a plane crash.  Emma Stone said, “I can’t think of any better representation of beauty than someone who is unafraid of herself.”  Are you wearing your crown?  

by Caryl Bowman
Writer & Habit Coach
Founder, Fix My Habit Caryl Group
Host, Fix My Habit Caryl Story-Podcast
Founder, Literacy For Life Foundation
Founder, Momentum Carrier Movement

Thursday, 20 December 2018

I Did THE FIX: My Habit Story
By Caryl Bowman
Writer & Habit Coach
Founder, Literacy For Life Foundation
Founder, Fix My Habit Caryl Group
Host, Fix My Habit Caryl Story-Podcast
Founder, Momentum Carrier Movement


Wednesday, 7 February 2018

CARYL’S METHOD to MINDFUL SELF-MADE HABITS for HIGH PERFORMERS

Are you winning?
Are you beating your brain?


Caryl’s Method to Mindful Self-Made Habits is a collection of lifestyle habits that form your self-belief system.  They are strategic, valorous, and desirable routines that validate and celebrate who you are, how you be, how you fashion and evolve, and how you engage the world to meet your inner and outer expectations.   


Your self-beliefs control your every action, and every result.  Change the beliefs and the results will change.


The nature of their actionable, practical, believable and unique qualities is what assists in the formation of new self-beliefs.  You are the driver of the intention!


Let’s break it down……..


They are actionable because each habit is created in action form.  They are practical because the outcomes are measurable.  You are able to quantity and qualify your outcomes.  They are believable because they start from where you are and grow into who you are becoming.  They are unique because they are born from your personal desires and aspirations.


Caryl’s Method to Mindful Self-Made Habits is an enliven view of yourself winning in your life!  If you ever ‘gassed-out’ on momentum, ‘gas-up’ with Caryl’s Method to Mindful Self-Made Habits. You are given some new tools to work with to sustain your momentum.


They are spoken in the second and third person, which make them more powerful and impactful to assist in the formation of your new self-belief.  Caryl’s Method to Mindful Self-Made Habits helps you identify and release the old story you keep telling yourself (the old belief) and practice desirable habits using smart strategies, techniques and solutions.  This is accompanied with a positive self-talk.  Self-talk is not enough to build new habits without identifying faulty beliefs.  Subconscious conditioning determines your thinking.  The strategies and techniques used to trigger-up a new habit are creative which facilitate the mindful method.  I help you create trigger- goals.  They help you pay attention to what you are doing, how you are feeling, and how you are thinking. You'll see.


They address your personal, desirable routines that are important to you and those that you would like to cultivate and habituate in your lifestyle.  I build a program around your needs.  You become the coach of you – the Self-Made Practitioner in your life.  But first, you must be self-aware of the habits you would like to master and drum-up enough courage to take action to make them a part of your lifestyle.  The decision to take action is your only hurdle.  You need to set the intention first.  My personal coaching takes over the process thereafter and supports your intention and helps build the muscle of courage.  


Here’s a look at a smidgen of my Self-Made habits….….

My Declarations!

Everything is always working out for you, Caryl.  You pay keen attention to the energy you show up with everywhere you go.  You know and understand that you are the magic in your life, so you give good vibes. (I have developed the habit of checking on how I am showing up in the world and attached the value of things working out for me because I am self-aware of it).


You feel in charge of how you feel and today you choose to feel happy.  You have set the intention to practice leaning towards feelings of appreciation and well-being. (I have developed the habit of feeling in charge of feeling good).


You love so many things about your life.  You love and admire the fact that you are grounded, centered, and complete.  You love that you make good sound choices and have productively and consistently formed some awesome habits!  (I have developed the habit of reminding myself of my successes).


Cinch by cinch, without a doubt, your life is becoming a movement full of all your passions.  You write.  You train.  You educate.  You serve.  You add value.  (These are all habits which I build).


You workout routinely which makes you feel fit, strong, healthy and yes, beautiful.  And, with all these fantastic things happening for you, you feel proud to say: You are enough, you have enough, you do enough Caryl.  (Exercise is another habit.  Here, I attached value to it in my self-talk).

That’s a piece of my mental programming I say to myself in the mirror.  


A few observations……...

1)   They are written in the second and third person.
2)   They demonstrate the actions I am taking.  They are actionable.
3)   They are believable because I am actually doing them routinely and I get to see my results.
4)   They are practical and not theoretical.  I can actually qualify and quantify my progress because I do them routinely.
5)   All these habits are what I value as important to me and that’s what makes them unique.
6)   I have addressed my feelings, my way of thinking, my actions, and how I be which are all habits. 


If you need help to create and build your self-made habits for your lifestyle, please email me.  I can help you create the sustainable mental programming that will work for you and that will build your unique brand of unstoppable momentum required to attain your desired aspirations, dreams, and goals that build upon your successes.  I can coach you on how to trigger-up the self-made habits using smart strategies, techniques and viable solutions, in creative ways.  I support you through the entire process.  I help you set-up trigger-goals to facilitate the change.  Outsmart your brain and end the backsliding.  Live a charged life! You know what to do, but you just can't make yourself do it.  Get help here.  My pleasure!


Learn how to rewire your brain to promote gratitude, well-being, self-satisfaction, joy, self-acceptance, and positivity.  Momentum trumps everything! 


A habit is a pattern of thinking….feeling…..behaving…..being.   Don’t you know, you are the magic?

Caryl Bowman
Writer &Habit Coach
Founder, Literacy For Life Foundation

Key words
 Self-Made habits
 self-belief
 lifestyle
 routines
 strategic
 valorous
 desirable
 evolve
expectations
actionable
practical
believable
 unique
self-aware
courage
momentum
self-talk
sustainable

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Monday, 4 December 2017

GOODBYE COTTON MOUTH!


GOODBYE COTTON MOUTH!

PS.  Please read the previous blog to get the backstory.


THE FIX………….

I discovered that an autoimmune syndrome was causing my symptom. With a proper medical diagnosis and the correct treatment plan, I restored normal salivary balance in my mouth.


My Takeaway……..

Undesirable habits have a cost!  It negatively impacted my image, despite my many successes.  It interfered with my capacity to do my job and could have affected my business.  But, it doesn’t have to be this way.   I did the FIX.  I took back control of my situation because I’m worth it!  My FIX was not a strategy, but a solution to a problem.  At the end of the seminar, I got a huge, bear hug from a counselor friend who was in the audience.  It was his way of showing me support. I received it. 

My experience is now a teaching moment in fixing undesirable habits in the workplace workshop. I can get vulnerable with another habit story.  Goodbye Cotton Mouth! 

My vision for myself is the one I hold for my clients: to help them feel like a winner, happier and more effective at influencing, managing, and directing desired outcomes.  

What are the triggers, routines, and rewards in your life?

What habit would you like to fix? 

Remember, you can’t delete/erase an old pattern, but you can replace it with a better, healthier choice.

I would like to hear from you.  Add a comment.  Join in the conversation…………




If you are interested, you are welcome to join FIX MY HABITS group at Caryl Connect Inc.


By Caryl Bowman
Writer & Habit Coach
Founder, Literacy For Life Foundation








Sunday, 4 June 2017

Goodbye Cotton Mouth!






Goodbye Cotton Mouth!

Keeping it real........

Have you ever tried to wiggle out of an uncomfortable situation unsuccessfully? Did you attempt to fix a bad to worst situation?  How about the time you hopelessly felt no one could relate to what you are going through?  Let me talk about that time.

The backstory........

I got a consultancy to research non-violent methods of conflict resolution and the rationale for teaching character values and conflict resolutions skills to children in early childhood education.  I developed the lesson plans that teach children non-violent skills in the resource book created by Building People Movement.  The launch of the resource book took place with a panel discussion at two seminars attended by teachers and principals from various primary schools throughout the country of Belize.

At the first panel discussion, I liked my solid performance and was looking forward for the next seminar.

Down South......

No sooner than I got started, the saliva in my mouth quickly parched.  And for twenty minutes or so, I was in a relentless battle fighting to get my words out right!  The faculty of my mouth was not cooperating with the words coming out of my mouth that morning and remorselessly did not give justice to my well-prepared script.  My embattled moment found me paralyzed like a cork in my mouth.  Intermittently, pausing to re-lubricate the exterior surroundings of my bone-dry mouth was a must!  Then, a complete full-stop to gobble down a mouthful of refreshing water that sat idle in a glass on the table. Thankfully.  Finally, I regained a noticeable improved diction towards the finishing line.  What the heck was that!?!  Cotton Mouth!  Got you smiling.

Connecting the dots....

I had experienced dry mouth before, but this was by a long stretch, a SEVERE case of it.  As a training coach, I drink water intermittently during my workshops.  Of course, my workshop style is interactive with many opportunities to do so.  There were three other presenters following me.  But upon reflection, here's the thing.  I chose not to stop intermittently to drink water.  It cost me.


Self-awareness.....

I made two observations.  I experience dry mouth when I conduct training workshops at an air-conditioned facility.  Talking for long periods of time in this atmosphere heavily dries out my mouth and interferes with my diction, if I don't continuously drink water.  I was given 15 minutes to present............you mean, I can't talk for 15 minutes, seriously?  I control the momentum.  There has got to be a better way!

Second, sailing off to the cayes with perennial, strong, gusty winds beating up my face pose a real challenge for me to hold a conversation.  I get dried out too.  I literally can't talk.

Let me establish my trigger here.  It's the location.  These two conditions trigger my dry mouth when speaking.

In case you wondered, the first seminar did not occur in an air-conditioned facility.  The room was hot, but I performed better.

My reward.........

So, why was I rewarding this misbehaving habit?  On a psychological level, my lack of proactivity in getting ahead of the problem before I interact with these conditions was rewarding my dry mouth habit.

Why was I non-proactive?  Honestly, I felt helpless.  I didn't do any research on it, therefore, I had no replaceable, sustainable mechanism in place.  I felt I had no control over it, like many people, no recourse, other than drinking water on the spot.  Like a child who gets rewarded for bad behavior due to his parents' inaction, so was I rewarding my dry mouth habit. 

Finally.......

Other coaches experience dry mouth too.  Research shows there are so many causes to dry mouth. 
Dry mouth is a symptom of a deeper problem.  It is the effect of a deeper cause.  Stay tuned to THE FIX.  You'll be surprised to learn what I have discovered.  I got this!

What are the triggers, routines, and rewards in your life?  

What habit would you like to fix?

Remember, you can't delete/erase an old pattern, but you can replace it with a better, healthier choice.

I would like to here from you.  Add a comment.  Join in the conversation....

By Caryl Bowman
Writer &Habit Coach
Founder, Literacy For Life Foundation


  


Saturday, 6 May 2017

You Can Outsmart Your Brain With Smart Strategies


You think your goals will get you there?  They won't... but your small, sustainable, daily habits will.


Consider this...

The Father of American Psychology, William James once said, "All our life...is but a mass of habits."

Precisely.

A belief is a thought you keep thinking which forms your belief system.  Habits intrusively craft your characteristics and qualities that you labeled your personality.

Lets face it Beloved, you are all your habits and your habits are you!


Your habits are subtle, automatic routines you do repeatedly - without thinking.  Undesirable habits, if unchecked, can affect your health, wealth, emotions, relationships, and your productivity.

To help you make the connections, lets do a habit check....

Are you consistently late to work or not?
Are you constantly leaving the toilet seat up or down?
Are you usually flipping insults in a road rage or not?
Are you financially stable or just over broke?


Whatever your responses, you have successfully trained your habits.

Here's how...

.........thanks to the Habit Loop.  In his book, The Power of Habit:Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, Charles Duhigg introduced the habit loop.  All behaviors follow the same pattern: there is a CUE, the ROUTINE, and the REWARD.  These three components wrap around in a seamless loop.


First, the CUE, often called the trigger, prompts the ROUTINE into action - automatically.

There are five types of CUES:
  • Time of the day
  • Your location when the habit occur
  • Your emotional state
  • The Actions of Others
  • Your Last Action Taken
Anyone of them can trigger a certain routine.  Once a particular CUE exists, its related ROUTINE emerges instinctively.

And like a turbo engine boaster at the rear end of a rocket, the REWARD propels the return of the habit loop if the brain likes the reward it is getting.

You get a psychological reward, one that you give yourself, without thinking about it.

Incidentally, the reward is the part of the habit loop that is usually difficult to determine.

Why?

It is usually hard for you on the surface of the habit, to determine why you crave what you crave or do what you do.  You want to ask yourself, what's the benefit I am getting from it?

Realistically,  unless you intentionally create your own reward for a new habit you want to train, you have no control over the reward you get.  The REWARD reminds the brain of the habit loop in the future on the condition that the brain likes the reward it is getting.

Bottom line?

No matter what habit you've trained, your brain wants to reduce the amount of time and energy required to make choices - that is why it forms habits.  Once a task becomes second nature, your brain essentially shuts down.

Researchers at The University of London discovered that it takes 66 days to train a routine into a habit.

Habits are malleable and replaceable.  You don't break habits; you replace them.  You can outsmart your brain with smart strategies.


What habit would you like to change today?


What is triggering your habit?


And what reward are you getting from it?


Join in the conversation.  Leave a comment on this post.

By Caryl Bowman
Writer &Habit Coach
Founder, Literacy For Life Foundation

KEY WORDS

small
sustainable
daily
habit loop
cue
routine
reward
automatic
without thinking
malleable
replaceable
outsmart
mass of habits
strategies





Friday, 10 February 2017

Fix My Habit








FIX MY HABITS

Bad Habits in the workplace


LETS FACE IT,  WE ALL HAVE UNDESIRABLE HABITS!   

All habits exist so you can get the reward you want.  Both your good and bad habits have a payoff, a benefit, even if the habit is considered just being plain idle.  You always get a reward for it; a reward you give yourself, although you are not conscious you are doing the habit and getting the reward.

Habits are repeated behaviors that occur automatically.  To figure out why you do some of the things you do, you first need to identify the reward that drives the behavior and the cue that spawns the habit to unfold automatically.  

Habits are vital.  They prevent you from becoming overwhelm by the stress of continuous decision making.  They help you navigate your lives.  You develop a sense of comfort in your habits.  They are your LOYAL MAIDS.    

But, your very own loyal maids can derail and spoil your best intentions to be productive in the workplace. Instead of faster, better, smarter you commit to slower, distracting, obsolete.  Bad habits have a cost!  They are undermining.  Besides negatively affecting your productivity, they can interfere with your health.

Bad habits don't break despite your efforts.  Instead, you should focus on training and replacing bad habits with new healthy habits.  So, stop wasting your energies!   Overtime, those old bad habits will lose their power.    

If you can diagnose your habits, YOU CAN CHANGE them to your liking.  My behavior modification workshops can help you or your staff do just that.  Outsmart your brain with my SMART STRATEGIES!

What are the cues, routines, and rewards in your life?  

What habit do you want to replace?  

Remember, you can't delete/erase an old pattern, but you can replace it with a better, healthier choice.

 Leave a comment.  Join in the conversation.  

By Caryl Bowman
Writer &Habit Coach
Founder, Literacy For Life Foundation

KEY WORDS
loyal maids
you can change
smart strategies
Inspire personal change!

CARYL CONNECT, INC.